Never Say Never Again
by ifyoucanfindmeimhere
Summary: Can shattered lives ever be repaired?
1. Part 1

Authors Note: I am not, nor will I ever likely be a comic book fan. So why I took to this show about superheroes, I will never know, but I suspect its because of the possibilities it showed in terms of a great human struggle story. Because Birds of Prey has been cancelled, we will never know what might have been had it been allowed to come into its own and blossom. This story is my own version of how things began, and where the characters we know in the show came to be together doing what they do. Because I haven't read the comics, I tried to rely on known information from the series, and sometimes just made stuff up because it made more sense than what was given to us in the series. If you enjoy this, please do let me know- it's the beginning of a semester, and I have a lot of boring professors to get though, which equals plenty of quality writing time.  
  
Never Say Never Again, Part 1  
  
She was finally going home. After almost two months in the hospital and almost another two in a rehabilitation facility, she was finally going home. Her doctors didn't want her to- they almost made her sign something that said she was leaving against medical advice. But ultimately, persistence won out. Well, persistence and a full time butler practically sworn in as her full time nurse and physical therapist. That, and three mandated psychological assessments which stated she was in fact in an "excellent" mental state considering her condition.  
  
Condition. How funny that in a place designed to deal with people in her condition, that it stalwartly refused to deal with the conditions by name. By contrast, the hospital just refused to acknowledge anything at all. Nurses would come and go, helping her to do the most basic of tasks, and never say a word about it.  
  
"Miss Barbara?" Alfred knocked and stuck his head into her "room", interrupting her thoughts. I've only one more load to take to the car- if your ready, we'll be able to depart in just a few minutes."  
  
"OK Alfred. Thank you." Barbara signed and looked around at the empty room. After trying for weeks to be discharged, it seemed almost surreal to think about finally going home. Somehow she had managed to handle her "condition" with more stoicism than she ever would have expected. She knew that this detachment wasn't healthy, but it had been the easiest way to deal with all that had happened. Selina's death, Bruce's disappearance, Helena, not to mention her own predicament. But now, to be going home, that meant that things should be going back to normal. Yet they couldn't. Things would never be normal again.  
  
Maybe she should have taken up Alfred's offer to move to the manor for a while. But this too would have been abnormal. The manor was Bruce's house, and she hadn't yet fully resigned herself to the fact that he had simply left. Bruce Wayne was far too honorable to have left Gotham forever without so much as a goodbye. She had to believe that he would return- that at least one small portion of her life would remain unaltered.  
  
More frightening to her was that going home would mean no escape from the nightmares that were always with her. Anything would trigger them- a sound, a smell, sometimes something she couldn't even identify. At first, they had all been of the same thing- those seconds when her life was shattered. But after a few weeks, they shifted to events she hadn't even been present for. Like Selina's death. And Helena.  
  
Barbara had never been overly close to Selina Kyle. When she had started working with Bruce, the history between them was already convoluted, and not something Barbara had been interested in finding out more about. But Selina's daughter, Helena, had been a different story.  
  
She had been little older than Helena was now when she met the child. Up until that point, Barbara had never taken to children, resisting babysitting and promising that she would never have any herself. After all, wasn't Selina proof that you couldn't be a mother and a crime fighter? But something about the child's nature struck Barbara immediately, and despite the age difference, they became quite close. Helena was an old soul, Alfred would say once, and it was as true a statement as could be made. Helena was wise beyond her years, and throughout time Barbara had come to think as Helena as a surrogate child. And for her part, Helena's closeness with her mother had for a while changed Barbara's mind about having children. Until now. Now, it was just another thing on the constantly growing list of things she would never do.  
  
Alfred's customary light knocking once again disturbed her thoughts. It was time to leave. Alfred brought her wheelchair close to the low hospital bed and stood to the side, ready to lend a hand. As soon as she had been allowed to leave the bed, Barbara had been trying constantly to reassert her independence, but the challenges that faced her were enormous and failure was frequent.  
  
Carefully, she maneuvered her body to the edge of the bed, and using a combination of thrust and willpower, moved herself into the chair. As usual, the sheer strength the maneuver required temporarily drained her of all energy, and without a word Alfred stepped behind her and began to push the chair as she positioned her legs on the rests. Although the doctors assured her that eventually such feats would become second nature to her, she was skeptical. She had been in peak shape before this had happened, and still it was very difficult. Despite physical therapy she was very aware of the loss of strength in muscle in all of her body, but she supposed that being in good shape was a thing of the past as well. It wasn't as if fitness centers were wheelchair accessible.  
  
Lost in these thoughts, Barbara exchanged quick waves and smiled blankly at the sea of "good lucks" that followed her out the doors. At the curb outside, she wasn't too surprised to find a new Hummer parked there, with Bruce's driver at the helm.  
  
"This is the car Bruce left?" Barbara asked Alfred, amused at his talent for understatement in describing the vehicle.  
  
"Yes. He said it would be more suitable, and can be easily modified to your specifications."  
  
Barbara almost smiled. Leave it to Alfred to be the only one to speak of her coming needs.  
  
After another embarrassing moment while Alfred and the driver tried to swiftly lift her into the new car, they were off. Barbara could only look out the window for a moment without turning away. Too many sights were bringing memories, threatening to flood her already overloaded mind. She closed her eyes, and instantly her thoughts turned back to Helena. A week after her third and final surgery, when doctors had finally given up on her making any more improvements medically, Alfred had brought a letter addressed to Barbara. Upon opening it, she had been shocked to find a letter from Selina. Aside from the shock of Selina's desire to continue to keep the knowledge of Helena's paternity a secret from Bruce, was Selina's very clear wishes that Barbara was to become Helena's guardian if anything where to ever happen to her.  
  
The letter had put Barbara into a deeper depression then even the finality of her condition had. How had Selina been so blind as to give up the care of her daughter to Barbara! Why would she have done such a thing, couldn't she had expected a turn of events like this?  
  
Barbara took her anger of the situation out on everyone. Selina for not foreseeing the future, Alfred for knowing what was in the letter and delivering it anyway, and mostly Helena, for needing her. Barbara had been keeping in periodic touch with Helena's caseworker, and knew that the child had acted out in foster care and was residing in a juvenile detention center until more permanent placement was arranged. Before telling the social workers of Selina's wishes of guardianship, Barbara did one of the hardest things of her life. In a letter, she carefully explained to Helena all she needed to know about her heritage, the secret lives, and what had happened that terrible night when both their lives had changed irreparably. Then she told her about her mother's wishes, and very succinctly explained why she could not carry them out and assume guardianship of Helena.  
  
Alfred assured her that the letter was delivered to the juvenile center for Helena. And although she waited for some reply- hatred, rage, pleading- she received nothing. Anguished but resolved, she had finally called the caseworker and arranged a meeting to sign Helena over to the system permanently.  
  
"Alfred, what time are we meeting with the social worker?"  
  
"10am. Unless you would like me to postpone." Alfred added the last part hastily, and far too hopefully. Barbara knew he wanted to stall her plans, perhaps hoping that with time she would rethink them.  
  
Barbara shook her head vehemently. "No, that's fine."  
  
"Miss Barbara, might I remind you that if not for your talents of persuasion, you would be spending the next six months under the care of a team of specialists, not trying to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders.  
  
Barbara smiled gently at his protective words. "Really Alfred, I don't think I could carry much of anything right now, much less the world." Receiving no smile in response to her lousy attempt at a joke, she continued. "Besides, why do I need doctors? I have you?"  
  
"I must remind you that I am a butler, not a neurosurgeon." Alfred's tone was serious, but the twinkle in his eye told Barbara that although he did not agree, he would continue to go along, most likely acting as a butler, physical therapist, neurosurgeon, nurse, shrink, babysitter and anything else she could ever need.  
  
As they pulled up outside her building, a thought suddenly entered Barbara's mind. Her apartment was on the third floor, and there was no elevator. Of course, before that had never been much more than an annoyance after a long night of scaling the rooftops. Now however, it was an impossibility that drained Barbara of the last shred of composure she had been grasping to for so many months.  
  
"Alfred" she said softly, trying to keep the tears from escaping into her voice. "There isn't an elevator." Alfred said nothing, but got out of the car and came over to her side. Opening the door, he swiftly picked her up, but instead of setting her into the chair, he set up the stoop and into the building. "No matter" he said finally, starting up the stairs.  
  
She was surprised at how his feeble appearance was misleading, and how strong his grip was on her, but the act of helpfulness just served to make her feel worse. "Alfred, this can't work."  
  
"Don't worry, Miss Barbara." Alfred said, arriving on her doorstep. "We'll work something out..." Alfred was troubled by how light his charge was. She had always been tiny, but now, after months in bed she was hardly a wisp of a thing. Plus, instead of improving, her dejected attitude was worsening, and it worried him to no end. He sincerely wished Barbara would postpone the meeting about Helena. Despite her assertions to the contrary, Barbara wasn't in any state to take back her life, and all the things that went with it.  
  
Alfred set her onto the couch in the living room, and went back downstairs to bring up her chair and suitcases. Alone in her apartment for the first time in months, her thoughts immediately went to the last time she had been there. Bless Alfred; he had done quite a job of cleaning up. The tile and carpet by the door showed no sign of the bloodbath that had occurred there. Looking around, she suspected that the refrigerator was full of fresh food, and everything else was just as clean and well cared for.  
  
Alfred returned, and helped her into the chair, then took the suitcases into her bedroom. Waiting a moment, Barbara followed him, and took the neatly folded clothes from his hands. "I can do that," she said. "I've caused you too much work already."  
  
Alfred looked like he was about to protest, then thought better of it. "Very well, I'll begin to prepare dinner." He turned to leave, but at the door he paused. "Miss Barbara, you have never been, nor shall you ever be work."  
  
Barbara had to smile at that. Of them all, Alfred had been the only one to act like things could be all right again. Bruce had been unable to handle the situation at all, and left just as soon as she had regained consciousness, but before she had been told of her fate. She didn't blame him- she knew as well as the Joker had what his actions would do to the man who had endured so much already. Dick had been a familiar presence at first, but he would never look her straight in the eye, and finally for both their sakes she had urged him to return to his work in Bludhaven. He hadn't really been reluctant to go. Eager to escape had been more like it. Hell, if she could escape, she would.  
  
But if anything, Alfred had kept her present, and his quiet but caring presence and stalwart refusal to dwell on any of the nevers, hows and whys of her new life helped to keep them at bay in her mind. Helped at least, but did not prevent them from rearing their ugly heads.  
  
She gazed into the closet, and couldn't keep herself from trying to imagine what would become of her now. She knew that the balance of power in Gotham was changing rapidly without Bruce and her to keep fighting the good fight. But she supposed that wasn't really her problem now at all. In her real life, she had been planning for her second year of a teaching internship that was supposed to turn into a position at the high school. But now she couldn't even begin to think about facing those teenagers. Getting their respect had been hard enough before- it would be impossible now, with the stares, whispers and questions.  
  
Really, she didn't want to do anything. She dreaded the meeting about Helena tomorrow, but she also wanted to get it over with. She had to sign the child over to the system. She needed to be cared for, and Barbara knew that just about anybody would be able to care for Helena better than her. She couldn't even get into her apartment alone.  
  
Barbara sighed, and turned back to putting her clothes away, wheeling slowly from one area to another, finding out just how hard it was to propel herself on her carpeted floors. Just one more thing. One more reason Helena would be better off somewhere else.  
  
After dinner, Alfred stayed to help her ready for the night. Barbara had insisted that she'd be ok, and after promising that he was only a phone call and a few minutes away, Alfred reluctantly left. Alone with her thoughts once again, Barbara slowly drifted into a sleep filled with memories, nightmares and uncertainty. 


	2. Part 2

Authors Note: Thanks for all the positive feedback on part 1! Enjoy this next part, and please keep the reviews coming- it means a lot to know that I am not writing this just for myself!  
  
Never Say Never Again, Part 2  
  
She awoke from her fitful sleep with a start, her senses used to being on hyper alert to hearing things in the night. She listened for a moment, and hearing nothing, almost passed it off as part of her dream. Then she heard it again: a faint rustling, followed by footsteps coming from her living room.  
  
Her first instinct was to leap out of bed and attack the intruder. Her second only occurred after her body failed to respond to her command to perform the first.  
  
Quietly she reached over to turn on the flight by her bed stand, and carefully lifted herself down into the chair by the bed. Careful not to make noise, she slowly crept to her bedroom door and opened it a crack. Seeing nothing, she opened the door and wheeled through, forgetting for a second the width of the standard issue hospital wheelchair. The tire caught the edge of the doorway and slammed the frame into it with a sharp knock.  
  
"Who's there?" A voice cried out in the dark. Barbara saw a body shoot straight up from on her couch. She reached over to the wall and flipped on the flight switch. There, sitting on her couch was a very spooked looking teenage girl with long dark brown hair.  
  
Barbara couldn't believe her eyes. "Helena?" was all she could get out while the child's eyes widened even more than one had thought possible at the recognition of the "intruder". Young Helena Kyle stood up and came towards Barbara. The motion helped Barbara to recover from the shock and find her voice again. "Helena, what are you doing here?"  
  
"What are YOU doing here? I thought you were still in the hospital."  
  
Barbara shook her head. "I got out early. Don't change the subject- I thought you were in a group home or something?"  
  
"I ran away, OK?" The shock was wearing off of Helena's face, and was being replaced by defensiveness. "I had to get away, and I didn't know where else to go, so I came here. I was waiting for you, but I didn't hear anything. I wanted to call you at the hospital, but the group home wouldn't let me."  
  
Helena shook her head violently, as if shaking off the memory of her recent experiences. "What does it matter now where I was? I'm here now, and so are you."  
  
Barbara didn't know what to say. "Helena, it's just. its not that simple. Didn't you get my letter?"  
  
"What letter? I haven't heard anything since they told me that you were shot- that's when they took me. After I ran away I came here, thinking you'd be back, but you weren't, so I called the hospital. They said you where still there. But I couldn't come- they're still looking for me, and they'd expect me there."  
  
The look on Helena's face changed as, for the first time, she took in the sight of Barbara in the wheelchair. Suspiciously, she asked, "What was in that letter you wrote me? And why aren't you better yet?"  
  
Barbara sucked back a breath of air, and felt the color drain from her face. After a long moment, she finally said, "Helena.. We have to talk."  
  
-- She felt Helena's eyes follow her every second as she boiled a kettle of water for coffee and cocoa. Barbara couldn't believe that she hadn't gotten the letter. She didn't know anything about anything. It had been an extremely difficult decision for Barbara to decide about Helena. Although she knew it was a cop-out to write a letter instead of talking to her directly, it had seemed easier at the time, under the circumstances. But it still had been a relief to write and send the letter off, and have that problem settled. But it wasn't. Helena didn't know, and Barbara wasn't sure if she was strong enough to tell her.  
  
Barbara set the drinks on the table and wheeled up close to Helena. She stared at her drink for a few minutes, and finally looked up into Helena's big brown, questioning eyes.  
  
"Helena, you need to know that what I am about to tell you was all kept a secret to keep you from getting hurt. But it is information you deserve to know now, so that you can understand why things happened the way they did.  
  
Before you were born, your mother had another job, and she was really good at it. It was a secret, so in her job she called herself 'Catwoman'. It was also very dangerous, so when you where born she gave it up. She loved you so much." Barbara trailed off, and took a big breath.  
  
"There was this other person who didn't really work with your mom, but he knew her. He had a secret job also, and called himself "Batman". Your mom and him, they fell in love. And your mother got pregnant. But because of the dangerous people that this man dealt with, your mother knew that if anyone found out that you were his daughter, they would come after you to hurt Batman. So your mom didn't tell him about you. That's why you grew up so far away, and never knew your father. "  
  
Eyes flashing, Helena tried to interrupt, but Barbara shushed her. "Wait, there's more." She knew that maybe she shouldn't be telling the child all of this, but she saw no other way of explaining why everything in her young life had gone to hell.  
  
"I also had a secret job, and I worked with your father. I was "Batgirl". That's how I met your mother, and after you where born, you.  
  
One of the biggest criminals ever in Gotham history was a man called the Joker. Batman and I fought him many times. Somehow, he found out that your mother had been involved with Batman, and so that's why he sent someone to kill her- to hurt Batman." Barbara had tears in her eyes now, and had to look away from Helena to finish.  
  
"But the Joker was insane, and just one death wasn't enough for him. So while your mom was. you know, he came for me himself. Somehow he found out who I was- I don't know how. I had just heard on the news about your mom, and there was a knock on the door- I thought it was you, and I was so stupid, I just opened it."  
  
She jumped and her body shuddered, reliving the moment in full effect. Squeezing her eyes closed, she focused on her breathing for a few minutes, and then continued once again.  
  
"The bullet- it should have killed me. The doctors really couldn't say why it didn't. fast response time for the paramedics maybe. lucky me" she said dryly, finally looking back up at Helena. The look of confusion on her face wasn't disappearing. She still didn't understand.  
  
"But what the bullet did do was get me in the spine." Helena jerked at this revelation, suddenly starting to get an idea of what was coming. "I was in a coma for three weeks, and when I came out, I couldn't move my legs.  
  
They did three surgeries on me while I was there. For a while, there was hope that not ever neural fiber had been severed. But it was.  
  
"Helena, I'm paralyzed. I can't feel or move anything from my waist down." Once the revelation had started, she couldn't stop it. "I can't do anything anymore. I can't get into my apartment, I can't take a shower alone, I can't ever do what I used to do, and I couldn't even help you when you needed me."  
  
She was sobbing now, and Helena wasn't sure what to do. "Barbara, it's OK, it wasn't your fault."  
  
"Don't you see?" Barbara spat back. "I can't take care of you. I'm nothing Helena, nothing! I can't take care of myself, much less a child. I'm sorry- I just can't." She wheeled around, slamming hard into the table, but it didn't slow her hasty retreat back to her room.  
  
Helena sat at the table for almost twenty minutes, letting the information sink in. Secret lives, her father, and Barbara. She had known Barbara as long as she could remember and she had been one of the most vibrant people Helena had ever met. Her anger that had been directed towards a faceless foe suddenly had a name: The Joker, and she had more ammunition against him now. He had taken her mother from her quickly, and for that he would pay. But what he had taken from Barbara- her soul and spirit- it was almost worse.  
  
Barbara was a shell of the person she had once been. Helena's anger transformed into despair as she began to realize what Barbara's revelations meant for her own fate. Before, everything had seemed temporary and manageable. Barbara would come home healed, things would be OK. Now- Barbara said she wouldn't take her, so what would become of her now? She wouldn't go back to the group home- she just wouldn't. Slowly a resolve built in her mind. The only way to set things right.  
  
-- The sound of a door closing finally brought Barbara out of her tears. It had been the first real breakdown since waking up in the hospital. She felt bad about being so hard on Helena, but the child had to hear the truth.  
  
Barbara's eyes widened as she suddenly realized why a door might be closing in her apartment. She wheeled back into the living room, which was eerily quiet.  
  
"Helena" she called, but she didn't expect and answer. She swore at herself, and then a note on the table caught her eye. She read it over quickly, then again. Setting the note down, she felt her heart sink into places in her body that no longer held any feeling.  
  
"Damn." 


	3. Part 3

Authors Note: Thanks for all the positive feedback on previous parts! Sorry it has taken so long to get this next part up, but I promise it won't be as long for the next. Enjoy!  
  
Never Say Never Again, Part 3  
Helena hugged the side of buildings as she walked the streets of New Gotham. She had made up her mind about what she would have to do, but wasn't quite sure how to go about it. She had no money, and no one else she could go to for help.  
  
In her mind, the events of the night kept replaying. Seeing Barbara like that, so resigned, brought the pain of loosing her mother flooding back. It was obvious to Helena now that you couldn't trust anybody. She had trusted her mother, and she had left her. Selina's wishes might have been for Helena to live with Barbara, but now even that was pointless. Barbara, who Helena had always thought of as the person to run to if something went wrong, had turned her back on her.  
  
Helena felt a tear run down her cheek as she crossed the street in front of the new clock tower. Just as she passed it, the clock began to chime for 3am. The others where gone from there, but it didn't matter anyway. Helena looked up at the clock, so very high up, and she realized she had found a way to make it happen.  
  
-- As soon as she had finished reading the letter, Barbara had called Alfred, and briefly told him what had transpired. He was on his way over now to come get her, and then they would look for Helena. But Barbara wasn't sure where to begin to look.  
  
She was furious at herself for everything. For coming home early from the hospital, for wanting to take back her life, for being so harsh with Helena, and mostly, for opening that damned door and causing all this to be set in motion. She blamed herself completely for her predicament. She should have been more careful, looked out the peephole before opening the door, anything. Her hastiness had caused herself all this pain- and now Helena was suffering too.  
  
A thought crossed her mind suddenly, and she wheeled around sharply and headed back to her bedroom to the computer in the corner. Moving the chair aside, she positioned herself in front of it and, taking a deep breath, turned the machine on.  
  
The machine hummed to life as if grateful to be working again after so long. Trying to keep her emotions at bay, Barbara began typing in codes and waited a long moment as the computer attempted to make contact with the Batcave. She breathed a sigh of relief as it established a link, and Barbara made a mental note to thank Alfred for keeping the Batcave computers active.  
  
A flashing caught her eye- a new message from the Batcave. Idly, she ignored it, assuming it was a remnant from before the battle with the Joker. She didn't feel like reliving anything else right now.  
  
She had added a few extra features for the computers in the Batcave over the years, but had always been the only one who bothered to understand or use them to their full potential. The link to the Gotham PD had been a recent addition before the last battle with the Joker, and she pulled it up now, grateful that it too had gone unnoticed and was still functioning.  
  
Something told her that the key to finding Helena would be in the past. Unfortunately, she wasn't sure where to start. Pausing for a moment, she typed in Helena's name for a background check. Nothing came up she didn't know already- born in Paris, moved to New Gotham with her mother 2 years earlier, witness to her mothers murder. A Department of Children and Family Services file was attached to the report. Swiftly, she brought up Helena's DCFS files, and began to read them over, looking for a clue to where Helena might be found. After detailing Selina's murder, the case went on to describe the slew of foster placements the child had been through.  
  
The first, with a family called the Blasdell's, had lasted almost two weeks. They described Helena first as withdrawn and uncommunicative, but after a few days she had become angry and unpredictable. Unwilling to try and deal with her destructive and volatile behavior, they sent her back to DCFS.  
  
The second placement was with a woman known for being good with troubled teenagers. But Helena's demonstrative hatred towards everybody had thrown even this experienced foster caregiver for a loop. Helena had finally bolted from the home when they had begun to use extreme punishments and "tough love" to try and battle her.  
  
On the streets for the first time, Helena had fallen in with a gang of teenagers who had taken up residence in the half-built clock tower building downtown. She had lived with them only for a few days when the place was raided. During the raid Helena had become violent, fighting off two cops with kicks and punches before they had managed to subdue her.  
  
Barbara had to smile at that. Like mother, like daughter, she supposed. She knew that Selina had taught Helena the basics of self-defense for safety reasons, and Helena had obviously inherited some of her mothers combat skill along with her metahuman potential. And although untrained in any of her meta strengths, they were no doubt mostly responsible for her behavior during foster care, and her survival on the streets afterwards.  
  
After the raid, Helena had been placed into a Juvenile Detention Center, where acting out physically became her only weapon against the world. Finally, with no other way to deal with her, the center began to drug Helena heavily.  
  
Barbara wondered briefly about that. With Helena's metahuman genetics, many drugs could have the opposite effect on her. She read on, and her fears were confirmed.  
  
The drugs hadn't worked as planned, and Helena had managed to escape from her escort one day after a meal. Somehow, and the report wasn't very clear on how, she had managed to jump from the fourth floor of the detention building and escape.  
  
That had been almost two weeks ago. Since then there had been no sign of her, and DCFS had written her off as a runaway. The file also had a note in it saying that Helena's mother had willed her to a family friend, one Barbara Gordon, but that guardianship had been rejected, and Helena was to be written over to the state shortly.  
  
Barbara turned away from the computer, disgusted with herself. She had had no idea all this was going on in Helena's life. She could have at least tried to find out what was going on, and intervene somehow. And even though she hadn't, Helena had still come to her for help. And Barbara had rejected her.  
  
Barbara heard the door open, and Alfred's voice call out to her. She wheeled herself around and headed out of the bedroom as fast as she could, calling out to Alfred "I know where she is."  
  
-- "Somehow after running away, she found some street gang that was living in the clocktower. That's the only place I can think of she might have gone back to. Maybe to try and find those others again, or maybe.." Barbara trailed off, unable to complete the thought. Alfred for his part was considering all the information Barbara had given him, while trying to maneuver safely through the streets of New Gotham to Barbara's incessant cries of "faster!"  
  
Upon pulling up along the new clocktower building, Barbara's hopes sank. Instead of still being in the midst of construction as it had been the last time she'd seen the structure, the clocktower was near completion, down to locked doors and security detail on the ground floor. She doubted Helena would have come here if she knew that there was a chance she might be sighted.  
  
Still.. She looked up at the towering construction, and something told her not to give up quite yet. Nodding to Alfred, he exited the car and came around to help her out of the vehicle. At the front door, Alfred knocked for several moments before a tired looking security officer in a Wayne Enterprises uniform finally answered.  
  
"Sorry, the building is closed. Won't be opened till after the dedication ceremony next month." The officer began to shut the door on them, but Alfred quickly interrupted.  
  
"If you don't mind, we have a few questions for you. I am Alfred Pennyworth, Bruce Wayne's personal butler, and this is Barbara Gordon, Police Commissioner Gordon's daughter."  
  
The security guard tried to argue, but once more Alfred interjected in his kind but stern way. "If you contact your superior, I am quite sure you will be instructed to help us in any way possible. Now, if you don't mind, may we come inside? It's quite cold out here."  
  
After another pause, the guard relented, and motioned for Alfred and Barbara to follow him. Inside the building, Alfred filled the guard in on their search for Helena, while Barbara explored the lobby. She took special note of a map of the buildings levels, and a construction diagram denoting which parts of the building had yet to be fully completed.  
  
Wheeling back to Alfred's side, she listened for a moment as the guard described the heightened security that had been put in place since the juvenile gang had been removed. Quite proud of himself for being the one who had discovered the youths in the first place, the guard quite vehemently opposed the notion that anyone could have snuck back on the grounds, especially tonight since he had been on duty for the past 6 hours.  
  
"If we could just have a look around some of the uncompleted floors?" Barbara asked, hoping that the guard would comply if only to get rid of them and get back to the sleep she had no doubt they had interrupted.  
  
The guard shook his head. "Absolutely not. Those floors are off limits to everyone but construction. I don't even have the elevator pass for those floors- only my boss does, and he's not here."  
  
"Lets go call him, shall we?" Alfred looked the guard straight in the eye. After a moment, the guard conceded and Alfred followed him out of the lobby into a back room. Barbara waited alone in the lobby for a few minutes for good measure. Then, glancing back towards where Alfred and the Guard had departed and seeing no sign of them, she wheeled towards the elevators and pushed the up button.  
  
No lights or sounds went off at the push of the button, and Barbara almost turned away, when suddenly the doors of the elevator opened. Taking one last glance towards Alfred's direction, she entered the elevator and waited as the doors closed behind her. 


	4. Part 4

Authors Note: We're nearing the end. Thanks for all the positive feedback on previous parts, and please let me know if you like how this has been unfolding.  
  
Never Say Never Again, Part 4  
  
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Barbara looked around the elevator, trying to decide her next move. Something told her that Helena was here- and no guard would keep her from fixing what she had broken.  
  
The buttons on the elevator only went up to the 16th floor, the observation deck. She hit 16, and as showed 22 floors- somehow she would have to figure out how to get up higher.  
  
Arriving on 16, moved her chair into the doorway to keep the elevator doors from closing and the elevator from leaving. A quick survey showed that the deck was virtually finished, complete with a breathtaking view of the city, but it was unquestionably deserted.  
  
Reentering the elevator, she studied the panel again. It was set up for an electric slide card to pass through it, with a small LCD screen and code pad to enter a PIN and floor information. She testingly punched in a few buttons, and was greeted by an "Invalid code" message. Worried that further attempts would alert security to her presence or lock her out of the panel in its entirety, she stopped and thought for a moment.  
  
An idea struck her, and digging into her coat pocket she fished out the key to her apartment. Using the key, she pried a corner of the screen up and within a minute had the entire screen opened to its electronic core. Peering at the wires, she both admonished and praised the elevator designer for installing such an easily hotwire-able security system. Pulling a blue wire out, she carefully moved it to the side and attached it to the lone red wire. A confirmation beep sounded, and the LCD screen changed its message to "enter destination."  
  
She knew that she would only have one chance to pick the right floor-It would not be much longer before Alfred and the guard realized she was missing and came after her. Cautiously, she entered 22, the top floor, where the clock and its mechanics where housed.  
  
The original plan for the Clocktower had been for the installation of a turn of the century clock that required around the clock attention to keep it running on schedule. Such as, a loft of sorts had been built into the floor where the clock was installed, complete with a kitchen and a set of rooms on the second level.  
  
But during installation, many problems had arisen with the old clocks mechanics, and finally it had been decided to send the original to the Gotham Historical Society. A replica of the clock face was built, and mounted atop a new set of clock mechanics. By that time, the loft had already been mostly built, but further completion was abandoned, and the space would now most likely become storage for the executive offices below.  
  
When the doors opened to the 22nd floor, Barbara instantly regretted her decision to choose it. There were structural beams and other building materials strewn around the entire floor, and a doorway leading to the outside face of the clock was without a door, and a cold wind was violently whipping through the entire floor.  
  
Barbara almost retreated back into the elevator when a flash of movement caught her eye from out in front of the clock face. Letting go of the elevator door, she began to move forward slowly, weaving in and out of the scattered obstacles in her path.  
  
Halfway across the room, she was finally able to make out Helena's figure. The child was crying quietly to herself as she stood atop a low cement railing around the deck, staring at the city far below.  
  
---************************---- Leading the way back into the lobby, the guard looked around- it was deserted.  
  
"Miss Barbara?" Alfred called, scanning the room.  
  
"Where is she?" asked the guard worriedly.  
  
"I don't know." Alfred answered. "Perhaps the restroom?" He followed the guard around the corner to the ladies room, and waited as he knocked on the door. Alfred's mind began to work the possibilities. He had seen Barbara studying the construction map of the tower, and had little doubt to what the old Barbara would have done. He wasn't sure about the person this newly wounded and damaged Barbara had become, but when no reply came from the restroom, he had to work to restrain a smile. Some things never changed.  
  
"She's not there!" Said the guard, getting angrier by the minute. "She must have gone upstairs- where was she going?"  
  
Alfred shook his head. "I honestly haven't the foggiest. Perhaps your security cameras could show us."  
  
---************************----  
  
"Helena" Barbara called out softly. The young girls head shot up and looked around for the source of the voice, and upon finding it the expression on her face went from one of despair to fury. "Go away!" she said. "You can't stop me- this is what has to happen."  
  
Barbara cursed to herself as she got as close as she could to the deck entrance, A large structural beam was propped up across the doorway opening at her chest level, completely blocking her from getting any further. She tried for a moment to move the beam, but it wouldn't budge. She pushed herself to the edge of the chair, and leaned out over the beam as far as she could and began to speak as Helena looked on.  
  
"Please Helena, don't do this. I am so sorry for what I said. I was angry. You have to understand; I've been so worried about you for so long, and so mad at myself. "  
  
Barbara took a deep breath. "This is all my fault. I should have been there for you. I should have known better than to open that dammed door. We. I should have stayed with the Joker, kept him from escaping, coming after your mother. This is all my fault Helena, but it's not fair, because I'm not the only one who is suffering. You are too, and I am so sorry. "  
  
Helena was still looking away, but Barbara could see that she was listening. She kept talking, trying to reach the child.  
  
"When I was in the hospital, I got a letter. It was from your mother, Helena. She told me things I didn't know, about her, and about you. But she also told me she wanted me to become your guardian if anything ever happened to her."  
  
"When I got your moms letter, I was in the same position you are now. Believe me, I know what you're going through. Every day I wish that that bullet had just killed me, and I haven't been able to figure out one reason why it shouldn't have. But maybe this is it. Maybe my reason to live is because of you. "  
  
"What I told you before Helena, it's true. My life, me- everything is different. I have a lot of reasons to give up, and I know you do to. But maybe we can help each other. Your mother, for whatever reason, wanted us to be a family. Maybe she had a feeling that this would happen, I don't know. I never knew your mother to be wrong, and maybe she realized that one day we would need each other."  
  
Barbara was crying now, but she pressed on in desperation. "I can't promise you anything Helena. Maybe I'm wrong, and this won't work, and we'll both be back here throwing ourselves off of this ledge. But we won't know until we try. I don't know how anything is going to go, but I do know that my life is broken, and that yours is too. But maybe together. maybe together, they can heal."  
  
Tears running freely down her face, Helena finally looked at her. After a long minute, she spoke. "OK" she said softly, wiping her eyes with her sleeve.  
  
"OK" Barbara repeated, stretching out her hand. "Come on down now."  
  
Helena began to turn to jump down, but as she did, a piece of the concrete from the ledge broke off, and Helena screamed as she fell, just barely catching the ledge with the tips of her fingers.  
  
"Helena!" Barbara screamed in horror as the child's body dangled from the ledge, her head just slightly above the level of her white knuckles, holding on for dear life.  
  
Barbara shoved the beam in front of her again, to no avail. "Helena, hold on and push up, try and swing your leg over!"  
  
Helena's voice came over weak, fear radiating. "I can't, help! I can't hold on! Barbara, help me!"  
  
Barbara frantically looked over towards the elevators, hoping that somehow, someone would miraculously appear to help. She scanned the room for a rope, or anything she could use to help Helena. Looking above her in the doorjamb, an idea struck. She took her legs off the footrests of the wheelchair and set her feet flat on the ground. Reaching up as high as she could, she grasped the side of the doorjamb and pulled her body up enough to reach her other hand up to grab another beam propped against the top of the door. Gritting her teeth, she lunged upwards and interlocked the fingers of her other hand and pulled up, lifting her body up out of the chair. "Hang on Helena, I'm coming!"  
  
Barbara didn't wait for an answer as she lifted herself to a semi standing position. She leaned forward, trying to trick her knees into locking. Once they had, she held the beam tightly with one hand and reached over the beam crossing the door with the other, around the doorway and grasped the edge of the ledge. She closed her eyes and shifted her body weight from her arms and transferred it for a moment to her worthless legs. Using every ounce of upper body strength she possessed, she pulled her body over the beam, her waist hitting the ledge and her legs falling uselessly to the ground. Then once more she lifted her body up and sidled closer to Helena, resting her hips on the ledge. She stretched out her hand towards Helena, "Helena, take my hand!" "I can't, I'll pull you over." "No you won't! Helena trust me, just do it!" She was within a few inches of Helena's hand, but couldn't quite grab her without putting her center of gravity over the edge. "Helena, take my hand NOW!" Barbara yelled, with more fear than she'd ever heard her voice carry.  
  
Just as Helena's grip began to slip off the ledge, she reached out and grasped onto Barbara's arm. Barbara felt her body being pulled over with the weight of Helena's, and with her free hand she gave one grand shove, and pulled both of their bodies backwards over the railing. She was helpless to prevent herself from falling like a heap onto her side on the ground, and Helena collapsed on top of her, slamming Barbara into the ground harder.  
  
They lay there for a moment before Helena stirred, then jumped off to the side. "Barbara, are you OK?" Slowly Barbara raised her head and began to cautiously push herself up into a sitting position. She smiled weakly. "Yeah, I think so. What about you?"  
  
Helena stood up, grimacing slightly. Her arms where well cut up and bleeding, and there was a gash on her forehead, but nothing that looked too serious. "I think so." She looked up and around, her eyes going from the empty chair behind the beam in the doorway and Barbara's current position on the ground almost 10 feet away.  
  
"Barbara, how did you do that?"  
  
Barbara shook her head. "I don't know." She too was looking disbelieving at what she had just accomplished. She laughed pointedly. "And they said I'd never stand again." She looked at Helena, and her expression changed. "Helena, I'm so sorry."  
  
Helena said nothing, but sat back down next to Barbara. "It's OK." Barbara looked into her eyes, and asked quietly, more to herself than Helena, "What will happen to us now?"  
  
"We're going home." A strong voice surprised them both from the doorway. Alfred and the guard where standing there, the guard panting heavily from their run up 22 flights of stairs. Alfred climbed over the beam and stood looking down over Barbara and Helena. "And then we're going to bed." He reached down and offered his arms to Barbara. Helena rose and the both of them helped get her back over the beam and into the chair. "Then we'll get up and deal with the social worker. He got behind Barbara and for once it didn't bother her that she was being pushed- she was exhausted. "And we'll go from there."  
  
The guard summoned the elevator and as they waited, Alfred got a sly grin on his face. "We'll also be looking for an apartment with an elevator." Barbara looked up at him and returned his smile. She reached out and offered her hand to Helena, who paused only a second before taking it. Barbara gave her a reassuring squeeze and was rewarded by one in return. Who knew? Maybe things would work out after all. 


	5. Part 5

Authors Note: I have been torn about whether or not to end this story with the previous chapter, or to bring out the ending I had written. Thank those who have been continually bugging me into finally going through with the ending. I've had a blast writing this, and have really appreciated the encouragement and feedback, and I hope I get a muse of inspiration for a new story, so I can enter this world again.  
  
Never Say Never Again, Part 5  
  
.. **--********--------*********--** .  
  
Mrs. Sellner, the social worker from the department of children and family services, looked up from her notepad. Her steel blue eyes were piercing, and she had made a chilling impact on the room since her arrival. Barbara was sitting on the couch, her wheelchair to the side, trying to hide the fear and nervousness she felt being grilled by this woman. Finally, after staring her down for another moment, the social worker began to talk again.  
  
"Miss Gordon, I can't help but wonder about the wisdom of the proposed arrangement. Perhaps a temporary arrangement would be of more benefit.."  
  
Barbara hardly let her get the words out of her mouth before cutting her off.  
  
"No, Helena is not going back to placement or foster care. She's staying her with me."  
  
"But surely you can appreciate the departments concern. Your have very clearly expressed your intentions until today to turn Helena Kyle over to the care of the state, and I can't say we disagree with that decision. Surely, under the conditions."  
  
"What conditions?" Alfred said, bursting into the room. After letting Mrs. Sellner in, he had been with Helena eavesdropping on the conversation from Barbara's bedroom. Although Barbara had asked him to let her handle the situation, he couldn't listen to it any longer without interfering.  
  
"Excuse me?" The social worker was incredulous at the sudden intrusion to the conversation.  
  
" I said, what conditions? You said that your department has reservations about Miss Helena living with Miss Barbara, then lets address them, shall we?"  
  
Mrs. Sellner turned to Barbara, with a look on her face that said, "Is this guy for real?" Barbara returned her icy stare and smiled sweetly, deferring to Alfred's lead.  
  
Mrs. Sellner broke the gaze, and sighed. "Ok, well, first of all, and I hate to mention this, but there's your condition. I'm sure that the transition isn't easy, and you're just out of the hospital- how can you possibly take on the responsibility of raising a child right now?"  
  
Barbara looked away for a moment. Nothing like the hard questions first. "I won't deny that I'm having problems. and until last night, I wasn't sure if I'd be able to live my life at all. But I think now that whatever problems arise, I will be able to deal with it. And honestly, I think that having Helena around will help. It's a lot harder to do nothing and feel sorry for yourself with someone else around who needs you.  
  
The social worker nodded. "Which brings me to my next question. You live alone, you've had an injury that radically alters your lifestyle- I'm sure you need help?"  
  
"I am her help" interjected Alfred.  
  
"And you are..?"  
  
"Alfred Pennyworth, personal butler to Bruce Wayne." Mrs. Sellner raised her eyebrows at the mention of the name. "How is Bruce Wayne connected here?"  
  
"Master Bruce is a close personal friend of Miss Gordon's. I have been instructed by Master Bruce to serve Miss Gordon on a permanent basis in whatever facet she might require."  
  
This was news to Barbara. She hadn't questioned Alfred's almost constant presence at her side since Bruce had disappeared, but she had suspected as much. But to hear that Alfred would continue to be a stable fixture was relieving, but also further proof to her suspicions that Bruce had no intention of returning to New Gotham in the near future.  
  
Returning from her thoughts, Barbara realized that both Alfred and the social worker where looking to her for a response.  
  
"Well, that's news to me, but an answer to your question nonetheless."  
  
"Yes, I suppose so. I can't help but ask- I noticed your building doesn't have an elevator. How."  
  
"Do I get up here? Funny you should ask that. Alfred?"  
  
"We've considered several housing options for keeping this apartment, but with the addition of Miss Helena, more space will be needed. Last night we had an interesting experience at the facility of the new clock tower. I spoke to the building manager this morning, and as of today construction on the top 2 floors of the building has resumed, and will be available for Barbara and Helena to move into by the end of the week."  
  
"In the clock tower?" Barbara and the social worker asked Alfred in unison.  
  
"Yes. Just behind the clock face, actually." Mrs. Sellner's confused expression didn't change, so he elaborated. "Bruce Wayne owns the building, and the Vice President of Wayne Enterprises was more than happy to allow us to utilize the discarded space. It is obviously accessible for Barbara, and very close to New Gotham High for both of them."  
  
"Very well. But that does lead me to my next question- when are you planning on returning to work?"  
  
"Yes." Barbara answered assuredly. "I spoke to the principal this morning, and will be resuming work in three weeks, when the new semester begins."  
  
"Well." The social worker sighed again, loudly. "I guess you have everything in order. The last thing would be for me to speak to Helena. Alone." Her tone underlined the last word, and Barbara nodded to Alfred, who stood by as she moved herself from the couch to the chair as swiftly as she could and then followed Alfred into the bedroom. Helena had heard herself being summoned, and was already standing in the room, waiting. Barbara winked at her as she wheeled by, and Helena nodded in return.  
  
As she closed the door behind her, Barbara was silent for a moment, trying to hear the conversation in hushed tones from the other room. Then she looked up at Alfred questioningly. "The Clock tower?"  
  
Alfred grinned ever so slightly. "I thought it might be an easy solution to a multitude of problems. Rent is also free, not to mention that there is already a bit of history there for you and Miss Helena."  
  
Barbara didn't understand. "What do you mean, history for me?"  
  
"I should think that performing a heroic rescue and standing for the first time since being seriously injured might help bring some inspiration into a site."  
  
"Alfred. How did you know about that?"  
  
The older man didn't answer, but held Barbara's gaze until she made the connection.  
  
"You saw, didn't you? How long where you there?"  
  
"Long enough to see the Barbara I have known make an appearance. I must say, I was very relieved to see her again. She's had a long absence."  
  
Barbara still couldn't comprehend his reasons for such a risk. "But. what I hadn't been able to get to her in time- or if something else had happened?"  
  
Alfred came close, and sat down on the bed to meet her eye level. "To borrow a phrase of yours, it was a calculated risk. Besides, I've never known you to give up, now or ever. And if I had been wrong about that, more then just Miss Helena would have suffered the consequences. It would have meant something far greater had been lost forever."  
  
"What?" Barbara asked, still not understanding.  
  
"Your spirit, of course. You have been dealt a blow of the worst kind, and physically you have been forever changed. But your heart- the question has been whether or not your heart was damaged as much as your body, and it would be able to heal."  
  
"And?" Barbara asked, wondering what the verdict would be.  
  
"And I think that your heart has been lying in wait, not sure what to do, and how to react. But last night, I think it came out of hibernation. I've caught two smiles from you today- that's two more than I've seen in the past four months. That gives me hope.  
  
The future is now, Miss Barbara. You've made the hard choice already- the choice to live your life. Everything else should be easy compared to that."  
  
As if on cue, Helena opened the door to the bedroom, and gestured for them to reenter the living room. Her face was unreadable, and Barbara couldn't help but feel a pang of nervousness. All this would have been for naught if the social worker wouldn't let Helena stay with her. She wiped the tears that had erupted in her eyes during Alfred's speech, then lifted her head and looked the social worker in the eye. "Well?"  
  
"Well." Mrs. Sellner repeated, looking down at her notes again. "I can't say I'm particularly comfortable with this arrangement. However, you do appear to be handling your circumstances well, have help, and the child was willed to your care, and seems to respond to you better than anyone else we have tried."  
  
Barbara glanced at Helena expectantly, holding her breath. Helena for her part seemed afraid to lift her gaze from the floor.  
  
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the social worker continued.  
  
"So, baring any developments, I'm going to grant guardianship of Helena Kyle to Barbara Gordon until her 18th Birthday. DCFS will make periodic checks in the first year to ensure that everything is going well."  
  
Helena and Barbara where both quiet for a moment, then Helena burst out with a smile and Barbara opened her arms for a hug. Thanking her, Alfred showed the social worker to the door. Closing it behind her, he watched Barbara and Helena for a moment as they talked. As Helena was talking a mile a minute, Barbara broke her gaze and glanced up at Alfred and mouthed the words "thank you". For his part, Alfred merely nodded set about the days tasks. He allowed himself just one more small smile as he watched his two newest charges bask in the glow of their victory against their fates and their demons. 


End file.
